It's easy to get depressed if I get caught up in unemployment, friends losing homes, or unexpected expenses that come up.. More recently, there has been hype in the media that gas prices will rise to $5 a gallon this summer. Thinking about these dismal things makes me want to hide in my house, save money, don't buy anything, or don't go anywhere. Basically, if I get wrapped up in the moment, it makes me feel I should not do ANYTHING!
It's easy to get stressed about the 'what if's'. There are so many things we don't have control over and yet it is easy to be bombarded by all the problems and issues in the world. Yet the constant reminders around us can stall us into a better future. We just get caught up in the moment.
It's those that keep dreaming, even when the times are tough, that will see them get across the finish line. Think of a marathon. It's 26 miles of endurance. However, those that have run marathons have told me many of times, "It's all mental." They have a 'belief' that they will finish. I have living proof of my father who barely trained for a marathon and then went on to finish it. He had a dream that it could be done. How - by only running a few miles he ran 26 miles without training. Crazy! It's amazing how the mind works!
A wonderful mentor recently reminded me of my 'little girl dreams'. Little girl dreams are thoughts that we may have dreamt as a little child without any worry in the world. The sky is the limited! Anything is possible! As children we were princesses or dragon slayers. We didn't worry about things!
I hear all the time how parents find such joy in their children. Perhaps that is because the children remind us to dream! We love watching our children and seeing how they view the world and how it is anything we imagine it can be.
DREAMS are the catalyst for change or opportunity. DREAMS are the avenue for the future. DREAMS create vision - that then become goals - and that finish with objective ways to make it a reality.
What do I see into the future? Do I visualize it? Do I see it? Did I write it down on paper? Do I have pictures? Do I tell others? Do I recite it everyday?
My children tell me many stories like:
"One day, I am going to volunteer at the library and also make pizzas.".
Or, "Mommy, I am going to ride a black horse."
Or, "I am going to marry a princess and live in a castle. My brother can live next door to me."
Do I dare tell my children that their dreams are not possible? Absolutely not. I show my daughter the prince who has found her princess and is marrying her this spring. I can also share with my daughter ways that she can start saving money for that horse and perhaps give her a black horse in the meantime to play with.
I can show my son how he can make a difference in others lives by volunteering and working. Furthermore, I can allow him to help in the kitchen and volunteer around the home now (or read books to his sisters).
So, now that I know how powerful creating a dream is: What shall I dream of next?
Where the Dreams Begin...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Overcoming Fear
Driving in January is something that I dread. In fact, I sometimes have so much fear that I just stay home. I avoid as much as possible to go outside. My track record these past few years has not been so good. Last year when I was pregnant, I did not work parties that meant driving on those roads. That is the honest truth!
In January 2004, I hit two deer in the month of January on my way home from work. It totaled the car and yet I was fine. I had a difficult time driving in Sugar Grove on the I-88 entrance for quite some time afterwards and was always on the look out for deer.
In January 2007, I off-roaded in the Subaru Outback around the 'S' curve on a road in Big Rock. Never before had my all-wheel drive vehicle decide that curves would bring on a new meaning when it was icy. I landed in the ditch - yet the car was drivable and I made my final 2 miles home. I was 7 months pregnant at the time with the twins.
In January 2008, I was on my way to Plano on Eldemain road to an event when it was 20 below degree windchill. That particular night, the snow was drifting. I had a hard time seeing. I didn't realize that near the Railroad crossing that there was a cement middle in the intersection in the road. Trying to avoid driving over it - I swerved and landed on the Railroad tracks. I pulled out of the tracks. I took a deep breath, got out of my car for a quick assessment and got to my destination. The entire night, I was so worried about having to drive home again that night...but I made it!
Last year - I avoided driving at all on either of those two roads as I was pregnant due with Katarina any day.
So needless to say - ANYTIME I have to drive on Jericho Road or Eldemain Road in the winter, I get a mini panic attic. I pack my car for the 'what-if' and I try to add extra time.
Tonight, after sleet and a little bit of rain, I knew I had to go on BOTH of those roads to my destination. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I wishing I could just crawl in bed. Absolutely.
However, I kept reminding myself what FEAR is.
"False Evidence Appearing Real"
I know I cannot avoid these roads forever. In fact, these roads are a staple to where I live. small town America where it goes miles before stop signs or stoplights. Darrin will tell you that I will call him at work obsessing about weather conditions and driving on two particular areas near where I live.
So, how am I going to overcome this 'fear' of driving in January. I cannot reach my dreams or goals by sitting at home.
How can I turn 'Fear' into a POSITIVE future?
Fear precedes Growth.
If I confront my fear - will I develop skills or learn something new that I would not learn otherwise?
If I focus on what I want versus what I am afraid of - what will I gain? Instead of worrying about the 'what if I end up on the side of the ditch again'. I should say, 'What will I gain from going to that event?'
I also reminded myself that people change when the fear of staying the same is greater then the fear of change. I want more in life! I can't do that by staying at home.
It's mid January and I am am constantly having to say positive thoughts in my head about winter driving. FEAR can paralyze a person from moving forward and reaching new destinations.
I want to be the Driver who gets to control my destination. My new affirmation to myself when driving on those roads will be, "What is something NEW that I will gain today that I would have missed otherwise?"
Tonight, I was gently reminded of a beautiful home that sits right in the middle of the 'S' curve that is on the housing market. Hmmmmm...now, wouldn't that make a nice home for somebody. I am sure that they cannot be fearful living out there?
In January 2004, I hit two deer in the month of January on my way home from work. It totaled the car and yet I was fine. I had a difficult time driving in Sugar Grove on the I-88 entrance for quite some time afterwards and was always on the look out for deer.
In January 2007, I off-roaded in the Subaru Outback around the 'S' curve on a road in Big Rock. Never before had my all-wheel drive vehicle decide that curves would bring on a new meaning when it was icy. I landed in the ditch - yet the car was drivable and I made my final 2 miles home. I was 7 months pregnant at the time with the twins.
In January 2008, I was on my way to Plano on Eldemain road to an event when it was 20 below degree windchill. That particular night, the snow was drifting. I had a hard time seeing. I didn't realize that near the Railroad crossing that there was a cement middle in the intersection in the road. Trying to avoid driving over it - I swerved and landed on the Railroad tracks. I pulled out of the tracks. I took a deep breath, got out of my car for a quick assessment and got to my destination. The entire night, I was so worried about having to drive home again that night...but I made it!
Last year - I avoided driving at all on either of those two roads as I was pregnant due with Katarina any day.
So needless to say - ANYTIME I have to drive on Jericho Road or Eldemain Road in the winter, I get a mini panic attic. I pack my car for the 'what-if' and I try to add extra time.
Tonight, after sleet and a little bit of rain, I knew I had to go on BOTH of those roads to my destination. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I wishing I could just crawl in bed. Absolutely.
However, I kept reminding myself what FEAR is.
"False Evidence Appearing Real"
I know I cannot avoid these roads forever. In fact, these roads are a staple to where I live. small town America where it goes miles before stop signs or stoplights. Darrin will tell you that I will call him at work obsessing about weather conditions and driving on two particular areas near where I live.
So, how am I going to overcome this 'fear' of driving in January. I cannot reach my dreams or goals by sitting at home.
How can I turn 'Fear' into a POSITIVE future?
Fear precedes Growth.
If I confront my fear - will I develop skills or learn something new that I would not learn otherwise?
If I focus on what I want versus what I am afraid of - what will I gain? Instead of worrying about the 'what if I end up on the side of the ditch again'. I should say, 'What will I gain from going to that event?'
I also reminded myself that people change when the fear of staying the same is greater then the fear of change. I want more in life! I can't do that by staying at home.
It's mid January and I am am constantly having to say positive thoughts in my head about winter driving. FEAR can paralyze a person from moving forward and reaching new destinations.
I want to be the Driver who gets to control my destination. My new affirmation to myself when driving on those roads will be, "What is something NEW that I will gain today that I would have missed otherwise?"
Tonight, I was gently reminded of a beautiful home that sits right in the middle of the 'S' curve that is on the housing market. Hmmmmm...now, wouldn't that make a nice home for somebody. I am sure that they cannot be fearful living out there?
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Where are the Caterpillars?
We have been searching for a home for 4 years for our growing family. Last fall, we had the opportunity to come across a home that met all our criteria - and then some. When we wandered into the yard, Ellie said, "MOM! Look at the caterpillar." She squealed with delight as she would wiggle between her fingers. Minutes later, I hear, "MOM! Johanna squished the caterpillar!"
Isn't life like that sometimes? Life can be all warm and fuzzy. Everything may just be moving along just fine. Then, a situation can change our mood or our abilities to move forward? It can be squashed, icky, or destroyed by negative thinking or allowing others decide our own fate. Ellie was devastated that Johanna killed 'her friend'.
Johanna squashed not just one caterpillar but three that day. I wasn't sure if she understood how beautiful a creature a caterpillar really is. I think she acted in fear. After a while, she did decide it was 'ok' to touch them and play with them. After analyzing the situation and gradually getting used to them, She realized that they would not harm her.
That day in late October, is such a memory I will never forget. The girls gleefully running around seeing what new adventures await them and creatures they could find. Grasshoppers and caterpillars everywhere!
Today, we went back to that home with the kids to visit. Johanna immediately asked, "Mom. Where are the caterpillars?" This is the same girl that months ago didn't care for caterpillar friends months ago.
I quickly answered that they would be back in the spring. I told them that it was too cold and that they would not be out in the snow. I first thought they would not understand. Perhaps, the girls wouldn't run around the yard because the caterpillars were not there. Perhaps, they would sob or cry? Maybe the girls would mope!
The twins didn't respond in the way that I expected. Instead, Johanna and Ellie started talking about how they would find them in the spring. However, for now they would pretended that they were looking for caterpillars. They decided to create the dream by visualizing they life that they wanted to believe!
Have we sometimes waited for others to give us direction in life? Or, perhaps we say, "Not now, I am too busy. I will do it later." Or, perhaps are we are saying, "I don't feel worthy of this dream."
Children are constant dreamers. As adults, it is easy to forgo what we desire in life because of the everyday responsibilities. However, just imagine what amazing things would await us if we just dreamed and started DOING things as if we have already done them? I call this 'faking it till you make it'. For example: I can give myself a new leadership title by writing it down on paper. I can start acting like I already have that title. I can start adding the responsibilities onto what I do as if I am already an expert at that position. I will see the paper in front of me everyday followed by the actions I do everyday that go along with that new position.
Chances are I will actually EARN that time and chances are I will exceed that title! It would become a reality.
I also can do this same technique if I want to go on a trip. I can put pictures of the location on paper in front of my desk. I can start thinking about the food, excursions, and the money I would need to buy an amazing picture. Then, by working, I would then be on the trip!
Imagine the possibilities if we acted as if we were already in the future! Our dreams can become our reality!
Today, I felt joy in my heart like I did last October. This particular place we visited is a place that we can create dreams. It brings happiness and exploration. I don't have to 'wait' for a feeling - but to just act. And, I can do it anywhere!
So, during a very cold day in January. I also asked myself, 'Where are the caterpillars?'
Or better yet....."Do I have to wait to see the caterpillars before I start playing?"
I can't wait for what is in store for my future!
Isn't life like that sometimes? Life can be all warm and fuzzy. Everything may just be moving along just fine. Then, a situation can change our mood or our abilities to move forward? It can be squashed, icky, or destroyed by negative thinking or allowing others decide our own fate. Ellie was devastated that Johanna killed 'her friend'.
Johanna squashed not just one caterpillar but three that day. I wasn't sure if she understood how beautiful a creature a caterpillar really is. I think she acted in fear. After a while, she did decide it was 'ok' to touch them and play with them. After analyzing the situation and gradually getting used to them, She realized that they would not harm her.
That day in late October, is such a memory I will never forget. The girls gleefully running around seeing what new adventures await them and creatures they could find. Grasshoppers and caterpillars everywhere!
Today, we went back to that home with the kids to visit. Johanna immediately asked, "Mom. Where are the caterpillars?" This is the same girl that months ago didn't care for caterpillar friends months ago.
I quickly answered that they would be back in the spring. I told them that it was too cold and that they would not be out in the snow. I first thought they would not understand. Perhaps, the girls wouldn't run around the yard because the caterpillars were not there. Perhaps, they would sob or cry? Maybe the girls would mope!
The twins didn't respond in the way that I expected. Instead, Johanna and Ellie started talking about how they would find them in the spring. However, for now they would pretended that they were looking for caterpillars. They decided to create the dream by visualizing they life that they wanted to believe!
Have we sometimes waited for others to give us direction in life? Or, perhaps we say, "Not now, I am too busy. I will do it later." Or, perhaps are we are saying, "I don't feel worthy of this dream."
Children are constant dreamers. As adults, it is easy to forgo what we desire in life because of the everyday responsibilities. However, just imagine what amazing things would await us if we just dreamed and started DOING things as if we have already done them? I call this 'faking it till you make it'. For example: I can give myself a new leadership title by writing it down on paper. I can start acting like I already have that title. I can start adding the responsibilities onto what I do as if I am already an expert at that position. I will see the paper in front of me everyday followed by the actions I do everyday that go along with that new position.
Chances are I will actually EARN that time and chances are I will exceed that title! It would become a reality.
I also can do this same technique if I want to go on a trip. I can put pictures of the location on paper in front of my desk. I can start thinking about the food, excursions, and the money I would need to buy an amazing picture. Then, by working, I would then be on the trip!
Imagine the possibilities if we acted as if we were already in the future! Our dreams can become our reality!
Today, I felt joy in my heart like I did last October. This particular place we visited is a place that we can create dreams. It brings happiness and exploration. I don't have to 'wait' for a feeling - but to just act. And, I can do it anywhere!
So, during a very cold day in January. I also asked myself, 'Where are the caterpillars?'
Or better yet....."Do I have to wait to see the caterpillars before I start playing?"
I can't wait for what is in store for my future!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Growth!
I hear all the time, "Your kids are growing up. Look how tall they are"!
If you have kids, you know what I mean. This happens especially around the holiday season when friends and distant relatives get together for festivities.
Just the other day, I took a peek into Katarina's crib and saw her. I was amazed! Did she grow overnight? What happened to my baby who could cuddle in my arms. Now, her arms and legs are dangling over 1/2 the crib! Even I am amazed at how quickly a year can go by and my little baby is almost a year old.
Growth comes in many shapes and sizes which can include physical, emotional, and spiritual growth.
Caterpillars, pass through various phases of growth, known as instars. They then shed an outer layer and moult. This happens after every growth stage. The complete butterfly life cycle can take anywhere from a month to a year depending on the species.
In early January, many people make New Years Resolutions hoping to moult and perhaps shed a few extra pounds, eat healthier, save money, or perhaps go to church more often, etc.
Children are constantly entering in and out of the 'instar' stage. How do they moult? They may shed a tear or two when they learn that they cannot always get what they want. However, over time, they will realize that treating others with respect and/or sharing toys. They will grow in confidence and love.
If we look at 'growing' in 2011, what are we willing to shed so we can grow?
We can't keep all the physical and emotional baggage.
What will be an end result for someone who is willing to 'shed' something?
By the time, the last instar phase is reached, development of wings begins to take place on the caterpillar.
I can't wait to see that phase begin!
If you have kids, you know what I mean. This happens especially around the holiday season when friends and distant relatives get together for festivities.
Just the other day, I took a peek into Katarina's crib and saw her. I was amazed! Did she grow overnight? What happened to my baby who could cuddle in my arms. Now, her arms and legs are dangling over 1/2 the crib! Even I am amazed at how quickly a year can go by and my little baby is almost a year old.
Growth comes in many shapes and sizes which can include physical, emotional, and spiritual growth.
Caterpillars, pass through various phases of growth, known as instars. They then shed an outer layer and moult. This happens after every growth stage. The complete butterfly life cycle can take anywhere from a month to a year depending on the species.
In early January, many people make New Years Resolutions hoping to moult and perhaps shed a few extra pounds, eat healthier, save money, or perhaps go to church more often, etc.
Children are constantly entering in and out of the 'instar' stage. How do they moult? They may shed a tear or two when they learn that they cannot always get what they want. However, over time, they will realize that treating others with respect and/or sharing toys. They will grow in confidence and love.
If we look at 'growing' in 2011, what are we willing to shed so we can grow?
We can't keep all the physical and emotional baggage.
What will be an end result for someone who is willing to 'shed' something?
By the time, the last instar phase is reached, development of wings begins to take place on the caterpillar.
I can't wait to see that phase begin!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Butterfly Experiment
Some may wonder why I entitled my Blog, "The Butterfly Experiment".
I decided a while back that my theme for 2011 is 'change'.
This goes hand in hand with my blog: Butterfly Experiment.
Have you ever really thought about how caterpillars transform into beautiful butterflies?
Just like butterflies, life is full of transformations. Mine has included balancing a career then having multiple children in a few short years (four kids ages 5 and younger). I have needed to learn how to juggle the duties of mom, wife, business leader, sales person, friend, daughter, etc. It can be exhausting at times!
One night after coming home from a meeting, I had complete peace of mind thinking about butterflies. I wrote the following a few months ago in my car and it shares why I love the thought of butterflies.
I envision seeing my kids giggling with silly caterpillars at a home that fits our needs as a growing family. I see myself as one of those caterpillars.
Winter is upon us now but trasnformations happen every season of the year. Butterflies bring me peace of mind.
As I close this very first blog...I am ready to being a new season of my life and journey.
What will happen during this Butterfly Experiment? Will you join me?
I decided a while back that my theme for 2011 is 'change'.
This goes hand in hand with my blog: Butterfly Experiment.
Have you ever really thought about how caterpillars transform into beautiful butterflies?
Just like butterflies, life is full of transformations. Mine has included balancing a career then having multiple children in a few short years (four kids ages 5 and younger). I have needed to learn how to juggle the duties of mom, wife, business leader, sales person, friend, daughter, etc. It can be exhausting at times!
One night after coming home from a meeting, I had complete peace of mind thinking about butterflies. I wrote the following a few months ago in my car and it shares why I love the thought of butterflies.
I turned the car light on and I started writing.
It is almost 10pm and completely dark outside except the light from my car and the sound of a long freight train in front of me.
What should I write about?
What lessons can I learn while being a caterpillar?
What do I ‘think’ being in a cocoon is like? Can I be patient?
What do I “think’ being a butterfly will feel and look like? Will I celebrate this celebration?
My life is like a caterpillar. I am living in a cocoon in constant transformation. What will life look like once it is time and ready to become a butterfly?
I am on a journey.
I envision seeing my kids giggling with silly caterpillars at a home that fits our needs as a growing family. I see myself as one of those caterpillars.
I think springtime is when butterflies blossom. Would it just be amazing if I can fly by then?
I think transformation is starting to happen. What will I learn along the way?
As I close this very first blog...I am ready to being a new season of my life and journey.
What will happen during this Butterfly Experiment? Will you join me?
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